I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
