fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
