Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize