I puked a lego.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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