We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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