I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize