:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
