My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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