He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
