i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
please come you make the beer taste better
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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