im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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