I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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