I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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