Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
