we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
