How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
