well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
