I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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