The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
