Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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