Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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