So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
