he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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