I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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