just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
