i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He shit in the fireplace
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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