Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im holly from the hills drunk
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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