I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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