Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
