The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
