I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
