i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
