Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have post one night stand depression
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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