Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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