I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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