You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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