Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
