the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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