Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
