you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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