i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
