I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
