Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize