seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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