i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
