I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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