I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize