Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
