Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
