True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
