This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize