Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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