My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
