I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
