the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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