so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
